When One Thing Ends, Something Else Begins!

“College is when you discover yourself, where you want to be, how you want to live the rest of your life… It’s a once in a lifetime experience. Make sure to have lots of fun”, my cousin said to me, four years ago. Words that resonate in my ears quite often…

I had just got through high school with tonnes of memories, experiences and new talents I never knew I had before. Well, there was entrance coaching that was frankly a hectic hell. After making it out of that place in one piece, all I wanted to do was to discover the next big chapter in my life. I would say people are defined by the human beings and the environment around them. I had moved to a new place a couple years before and my definition for myself had changed since then.  A quiet voice in the back of my head said, “You’re ready. Go for it.”

I packed my bags again and moved back to the place that had defined me from the very start. College life was gearing up and that excited me a lot. I decided to live with my relatives rather than at the dorms. I wanted time for myself and a little bit of flexibility. Well, I also wanted to raise a dog, but long story short, that never came to be… I don’t think people can explain themselves for every decision they make. Somethings, they just do.

The first year went by very fast, a journey of discovery. College life was definitely a new experience, something I took a long time to get accustomed to. The peers were different; the teachers were another story. And everything else was dipped in politics, something I was never able to get my head around. Safe to say, I constantly found myself seeking familiarity in a sea of unfamiliarity in vain. I missed out on a lot of stuff in that journey of discovery and also due to my literal absence from the scene.

My mathematics teacher said something that I still remember, “The first year is always the hardest part. The second year will be busy, but you’ll get used to it. The third year will sail between the lines and by the time the final year arrives, you’ll have no idea how you got there and how soon the years went by”. With a nostalgic pang of memories, I look back and I find that entirely in candour.

The second year was a journey of conditioning. I had already discovered different pursuits and passions. Reading was something I had put on a hiatus in high school. I picked that back without much effort, to my relief. Then there were movies, games, writing, and languages (another weird passion of mine!). And again, it is safe to say, I missed a lot of college pursuing them.

Third year was a journey of revelation. I realized beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and maybe I would be able to find myself and adapt. The fittest shall survive, as Darwin said after all. The process took a long time and the more people I met, the smoother it became. But I seemed to miss some stuff happening around me. But I didn’t notice it until later on.

And by the time the final year hit, I found that time had passed in a jiffy. Three years had gone by. I recently came across a video that defines the perspective of time with age. When you are in your twenties, a year feels like one in twenty parts. But for most people, they feel like they started living (actually living!) after they hit that age of around fifteen or sixteen. That makes one year feel like one in five. That is one fifth of your life you’re talking about. And that gave me regrets. Well, you can’t bring back lost time can you…

The final year was yet another journey, but this time a journey of reformation. Bringing back all those I had left behind and merging them with the new things I had discovered. Safe to say, it worked. I met even more people who left huge impacts in my life. Some I wish I had met a lot earlier. Maybe things would have been different. But as someone advised me quite early in life, it’s unwise to dwell for long on the what-if’s and what-may’s. I branched out, seeking different pursuits, leaving behind some that were pulling me back. A few changed me from the core. And by the time the year came to an end, I had things to remember, memories to cherish for a life time and a lot of people I wanted to hang around, to be a part of their and my lives. I had not missed out this time!

College did define me, in a lot of ways. Though I didn’t find all the answers I had hoped to find, I am happy to be the person I am right now. And I’m pretty sure there will be newer pursuits, waiting to be chased after. That is life after all. But with a pang of regret and a lot of good memories, though it is unwise, I still reminisce on a few what-ifs…

Farewell NSS. I didn’t think I was ever gonna say this, but I am going to miss you…

Until we meet again…